The case of the extorting masseuse.

Posted by Walter KeaneApr 06, 20220 Comments

I was staring at the mountains, thinking about how she told me it was over, when the phone rang at Keane Law. 

It was Kevin from EyesOn Private Investigations, and he had a potential client. Was I interested?

A stack of real estate litigation files crowded my desk. I had a few estate plans to write. A former co-worker had hired me to create an LLC because they wanted to avoid paying the 15.3% employment tax on a side gig. 

But I remembered the lean times, the hungry times, and how they could return.

"Tell me about the case, Kevin," I said. 

"It's extortion involving a request for a massage," he replied. "His name is Dustin." (My client consented to the publication of this article but wanted anonymity. "Dustin" is a fictional name.)

Again, he asked if I was interested?

I was. Many years ago, in a land far from here, I was a Cook County Assistant State's Attorney. I could handle an extortion case.

Because I embrace the best cloud technology ever, it was a breeze for Dustin to schedule a free 15-minute consult and complete a simple online intake form. It was all 100% confidential.

Dustin explained that he had fallen repeatedly while skiing and had significant body pain.

"A massage should help," Dustin thought. 

Unfortunately, all the typical massage places were booked; covid exacerbated the situation.

He decided to consult with some friends at the bar. A new friend provided a phone number with instructions to text for a massage.

Dustin texted. 

The masseuse first asked if Dustin could send a photo of his face. He obliged but wore a face mask.

The masseuse asked to see his exposed gluteus maximus. Dustin said no.

The masseuse explained that she loved that feature of human anatomy. She teased Dustin again, "I know your [gluteus maximus] is fat[.]." 

Dustin, a respectable businessman with a family, brushed it off.

After a pause, the masseuse texted again and expressed disappointment that Dustin was "not freaky" and "wouldn't let [the masseuse] see [his gluteus maximus]." 

"How old are you, Dustin?" asked the masseuse.

Dustin explained that he was in his early forties and was "tight." 

Dustin then texted, "Too old?"

"No. I wanna see that gluteus maximus[,]" was the response.

Dustin texted back, "I wanna see your whole body lol [...] let me see."

At this point, the text exchange contained a photo of Dustin, the masseuse requesting to see his gluteus maximus, Dustin describing his body, and Dustin's request to see the masseuse's body.

The masseuse then dropped the facade and identified Dustin by his full name: Dustin Redman. 

She also identified Dustin's family members and friends because she had found him on social media. The masseuse demanded Dustin pay her through a cash app or else she would share the text exchange.

Anyone Googling the masseuse's phone number would find it associated with an online transexual escort service.

Dustin was in a special circle of hell. Daily he would get texts harassing him for money. If he wanted a weekend without interruption, he had to pay. The more Dustin spent the longer between requests.

Eventually, Dustin paid over $11,000. Despite making all the payments he could, the masseuse still sent embarrassing texts to Dustin's friends and family through social media.

Dustin needed help. I would be his counsel and invoke the power of the judiciary!

It was a breeze for Dustin to sign my fee agreement and pay my retainer from his phone. 

After reviewing the text string and the report from the private detective, I drafted a complaint against this unknown individual (or group). 

Once it's filed with the court, I will subpoena the "cash app" Dustin used to pay the blackmailers and demand all relevant information. 

In the coming weeks, I'll give you an update. Let me know in the comments if you think we'll discover the real identity of the blackmailer.

And be careful when texting.